Table of Contents
Dedication.
Author's Note.
Chapter 1: Introduction.
Chapter 2: A Child Is More Than Gender.
Chapter 3: Parents Are Guardians, Not Owners.
Chapter 4: The Child Manufacturer's Manual.
Chapter 5: Every Child is Unique.
Chapter 6: When Other People Raise a Child.
Chapter 7: Moses and Pharaoh's Daughter.
Chapter 8: Esther and Mordecai.
Chapter 9: When Parents Are Absent.
Chapter 10: Grandparents in God's Design.
Chapter 11: The Hidden Parents God Sends.
Chapter 12: Parenting Talents and God's Audit.
Chapter 13: Preparing a Child for Gods Purpose.
Chapter 14: Conclusion.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to every parent, grandparent, guardian, teacher, mentor, and caregiver entrusted with the responsibility of raising a child. It is dedicated to every person who grew up without one or both biological parents and wondered why life unfolded that way. It is dedicated to those whose upbringing passed through many hands, yet through every season God remained faithful in guiding their journey. Above all, it is dedicated to God, who knows every child before birth and faithfully raises each one according to His perfect design.
Author's Note
This book was not born in a classroom, a library, or during a planned research project. It was born from life itself. For a season of my life, I was the primary caregiver for our children while my wife pursued her studies abroad. I spent my days caring for them, watching them grow, meeting their needs, and participating closely in their upbringing. Like many parents, I believed that the people best positioned to raise children were their biological parents. I viewed parenting largely through the lens of family responsibility and presence.
Then something happened that changed the way I looked at children forever. One day, I attended a church service. The person ministering that day was also a visitor. We had never met before that day, and to this day, we have never met again. After he finished teaching, he approached me and spoke a few things to me. Most of what he said has remained with me, but one particular statement struck my heart in a way I cannot fully explain.
In that brief encounter, which lasted less than three minutes, a seed was planted in me. That seed would later grow into this book. At the time, I did not fully understand what God was showing me. However, as the years passed, I began meeting different people whose experiences helped me understand that message more clearly.
I met parents who had left their children under the care of grandparents, relatives, or guardians while pursuing work, education, or dealing with life's challenges. Many of them expressed deep regret. They believed they had failed their children. They worried that no one could raise their children as well as they could.
I also met people who rarely spoke about their biological parents but spoke constantly about their grandparents. One person in particular seemed to talk only about his grandmother whenever he spoke about his childhood. It became clear to me that the person who had shaped him most was not necessarily the person who had given birth to him.
As I listened to these stories, I realized that people viewed the upbringing of children from very different angles. Some believed biological parents should always be the primary raisers of children. Others felt guilt because circumstances had separated them from their children. Still others carried pain because they had grown up without one or both parents.
The more I listened, the more I reflected on that encounter years earlier. Gradually, a truth began to emerge in my heart. What if God's design for raising children is larger than biological parenting? What if God sometimes appoints other people to help shape a child for a particular purpose? What if certain separations, painful as they may be, become part of God's preparation rather than evidence of parent's absence?
As I studied Scripture, I saw examples everywhere. Moses was born to Hebrew parents, but God used Pharaoh's daughter to help prepare him for leadership. Had Moses remained entirely within a slave environment, he may have grown up as another normal slave. Yet God had called him to lead a nation.
Esther lost her parents and was raised by Mordecai. If her biological parents had remained alive, her story might have unfolded very differently. Yet God used Mordecai to prepare her for a position where she would save her people.
Obed was born to Ruth, a Moabite woman, but Naomi, his grandmother, played a significant role in his upbringing. God was preparing a family line that would eventually lead to King David and, generations later, to Jesus Christ Himself.
Again and again, I saw the same principle. God knows the purpose of every child. God knows the environment a child needs. God knows the lessons a child must learn. God knows the people who can help shape a child during different seasons of life.
This does not diminish the importance of biological parents. Throughout this book, I affirm that biological parents are God's first guardians for a child whenever possible. However, Scripture and life both teach us that God is not limited to biological relationships. He often works through grandparents, guardians, relatives, teachers, mentors, pastors, neighbors, and many other people.
The more I reflected on this truth, the more I felt compelled to write. This book is written for parents who carry guilt because they have been separated from their children. It is written for children who grew up without one or both parents and still wonder why. It is written for grandparents who unexpectedly found themselves raising grandchildren. It is written for guardians, foster parents, adoptive parents, teachers, mentors, and all those who have ever invested in a child who was not biologically theirs.
Most of all, it is written to remind us that every child belongs to God before belonging to anyone else. The central message of this book is simple; God knows every child before birth. God gives every child a purpose. God appoints people to help prepare that child for that purpose. And sometimes the people God chooses are not the people we would have expected.
My prayer is that this book will bring comfort where there is guilt, healing where there is pain, gratitude where there is bitterness, and trust where there is confusion. May it help every reader see children not merely through the eyes of human relationships, but through the lens of God's greater design. For a child may pass through many hands during life, but every child ultimately remains in the hands of God.
Raising Children in God's Design
David Waithera
© 2026