(Under the Mugumo-ini tree. Late afternoon. Villagers gathered lazily beneath its shade. Some seated-on stones. Others playing cards. Women sorting vegetables. Young men scrolling through phones with no data bundles. The atmosphere is heavy with boredom and unemployment.)
Mzee Kihoto: In Lari…elections do not arrive quietly. No. They gather slowly like rain clouds over dry land. And before the first speech is made…politicians begin searching for one thing. Crowds.
Kamau: There are no jobs. But that is not politicians’ issue of concern.
Nyina wa Wanja: Tomatoes are rotting in the market.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: And yet politicians are driving new SUVs.
(Pause. Enter Chairman wa Groups slowly. He walks with the confidence of a man who has discovered hidden gold. He smiles mysteriously. The villagers immediately notice him.)
Nyina wa Wanja: Chairman…why are you smiling like a man who has seen government money?
(Laughter.)
Chairman wa Groups: My people…I truly do not know how many times I must tell you this. Stop suffering individually. Organize yourselves into groups.
Crowd: Groups?
Chairman wa Groups: Not groups for violence. Not groups for fighting. Groups for eating politics money properly.
(Murmurs.)
Kamau: Explain yourself carefully.
Chairman wa Groups: Politicians love groups. They fear individuals. An individual cannot make noise at a rally. An individual cannot wave branches properly. An individual cannot chant slogans with energy. An individual cannot impress television cameras. But fifty hangry people singing together? That becomes “massive ground support.”
Mzee Kihoto: And suddenly…the villagers leaned closer. Because in Lari, wisdom sounds sweeter when it smells like money.
(Chairman wa Groups kneels and begins drawing figures in dust using a stick.)
Chairman wa Groups: Now listen carefully. In this ward alone; twenty MCA aspirants, ten MP aspirants, many women reps, too many senators, and governors spending money like men escaping death. And presidential candidates?
(Laughter.)
Old Man Wa Kambaa: And what does that have to do with us?
Chairman wa Groups: Everything. These politicians are now cash cows.
(Silence.)
Crowd: Cash cows…
Chairman wa Groups: Yes. And not zebu but Holstein Friesians. But my people do not know how to milk.
(The villagers exchange excited looks.)
Mzee Kihoto: And there it was. A new economic policy for the village. Not farming. Not business. Not employment. But a campaign season that would give birth to regrets.
Chairman wa Groups: Rule number one; Never attend political meetings alone. Come with grandparents. Come with grandchildren. Come with neighbors. Come with church leaders.
Crowd: Never alone!
Chairman wa Groups: Move in groups of fifty, hundred, thousand, ten thousand…. Aspirants fear empty chairs more than opposition.
Nyina wa Wanja: Even churches nowadays have more people when aspirants are coming.
Chairman wa Groups: Exactly. A politician must feel important.
Kamau: And what do we ask for?
Chairman wa Groups: Transport.
Crowd: Transport!
Chairman wa Groups: Lunch.
Crowd: Lunch!
Chairman wa Groups: Facilitation.
Crowd: Facilitation!
Pastor Wakweri: But people know that is voter bribery.
Chairman wa Groups: No, Pastor. Bribery is illegal. This is appreciation for participation.
(Huge laughter. Suddenly campaign music approaches. Dust rises. Convoys arrive. SUVs. Motorcycles. Whistles. Excitement erupts immediately.)
MCA Aspirant: Where are the youth?
Chairman wa Groups: Mobilized.
MCA Aspirant: Where are the women?
Chairman wa Groups: Prepared.
MCA Aspirant: And the elders?
Chairman wa Groups: Very expensive nowadays…but ready with traditional regalia.
(Laughter. Villagers suddenly burst into loud singing.)
Crowd: Our leader! Our leader!
Mzee Kihoto: Observe carefully. The louder the singing the fatter the handout…. but the emptier the loyalty.
(Chairman wa Groups quietly pulls Aspirant aside.)
Chairman wa Groups: My people came from very far.
MCA Aspirant: I already hired tents.
Chairman wa Groups: Crowds do not eat tents.
MCA Aspirant: I printed T-shirts.
Chairman wa Groups: Can T-shirts move hearts?
MCA Aspirant: What do they want?
Chairman wa Groups: You are asking the wrong question.
MCA Aspirant: Then what is the right question?
Chairman wa Groups: How badly do you want the seat?
(Pause. The Aspirant quietly removes a thick envelope. Chairman wa Groups smiles slowly.)
Mzee Kihoto: And democracy continued its sacred journey.
(Another convoy arrives before the first leaves.)
MP Aspirant: Why are these people wearing another candidate’s T-shirts?
Chairman wa Groups: Development has many stakeholders. First come first served.
(Laughter.)
MP Aspirant: Were they not at my rally yesterday?
Nyina wa Wanja: Leadership requires consistency. That is why we attend all meetings.
Kamau: We believe in inclusivity.
(Huge laughter.)
Governor’s Agent: We need five hundred people tomorrow.
Chairman wa Groups: With or without dancing and ngemi?
Governor’s Agent: With energy. Ready to talk with paid media people.
Chairman wa Groups: Energy costs extra.
(Laughter. Night falls slowly. Villagers seated counting money. Campaign T-shirts scattered everywhere. Empty cheap liquor bottles. Political songs fading in distance.)
Kamau: Today I attended three rallies.
Nyina wa Wanja: I attended four.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: Last election we were manipulated for free. This time round we must get our share of politics funds.
(Laughter.)
Pastor Wakweri: But honestly…is this not wrong?
(Silence.)
Chairman wa Groups: Pastor…when elections end…will these politicians remember us?
Pastor Wakweri: Probably not.
Chairman wa Groups: Then this is our season. The cows are full of milk and ready for us.
Crowd: The cows are ready!
Chairman wa Groups: The milk is ready.
Crowd: The milk is ready!
Chairman wa Groups: Your time is now. Milk!
(Lights shift abruptly. Silence. Morning after elections. Empty roads. Torn posters. No music. No convoys. Only potholes remain faithfully.)
Kamau: My phone no longer rings.
Nyina wa Wanja: Even the MCA stopped greeting people.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: The milk dried.
Pastor Wakweri: And now?
(Long silence.)
Chairman wa Groups: Now we wait for five years again.
Crowd: Five years?
Chairman wa Groups: Yes. Unless either helicopter crash or cancer bless us.
(The villagers stand quietly.)
Mzee Kihoto: The politicians came looking for crowds. The crowds came looking for survival. Both used each other. And both called it politics.
Crowd: We sang. We danced. We filled rallies. We hated each other. We milked the cows.
(Pause.)
Crowd: (softly) But somehow…we remained poor.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: One day we shall stop renting ourselves to politicians.
Kamau: …and start demanding something more expensive than money.
Nyina wa Wanja: Responsibility.
Pastor Wakweri: True.
Chairman wa Groups: And dignity.
(Far away, campaign music begins again. Some villagers slowly turn their heads instinctively.)
Mzee Kihoto: And once again…the circus remembered the road to Lari.
(Blackout.)
Mzee Kihoto: In Lari…elections do not arrive quietly. No. They gather slowly like rain clouds over dry land. And before the first speech is made…politicians begin searching for one thing. Crowds.
Kamau: There are no jobs. But that is not politicians’ issue of concern.
Nyina wa Wanja: Tomatoes are rotting in the market.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: And yet politicians are driving new SUVs.
(Pause. Enter Chairman wa Groups slowly. He walks with the confidence of a man who has discovered hidden gold. He smiles mysteriously. The villagers immediately notice him.)
Nyina wa Wanja: Chairman…why are you smiling like a man who has seen government money?
(Laughter.)
Chairman wa Groups: My people…I truly do not know how many times I must tell you this. Stop suffering individually. Organize yourselves into groups.
Crowd: Groups?
Chairman wa Groups: Not groups for violence. Not groups for fighting. Groups for eating politics money properly.
(Murmurs.)
Kamau: Explain yourself carefully.
Chairman wa Groups: Politicians love groups. They fear individuals. An individual cannot make noise at a rally. An individual cannot wave branches properly. An individual cannot chant slogans with energy. An individual cannot impress television cameras. But fifty hangry people singing together? That becomes “massive ground support.”
Mzee Kihoto: And suddenly…the villagers leaned closer. Because in Lari, wisdom sounds sweeter when it smells like money.
(Chairman wa Groups kneels and begins drawing figures in dust using a stick.)
Chairman wa Groups: Now listen carefully. In this ward alone; twenty MCA aspirants, ten MP aspirants, many women reps, too many senators, and governors spending money like men escaping death. And presidential candidates?
(Laughter.)
Old Man Wa Kambaa: And what does that have to do with us?
Chairman wa Groups: Everything. These politicians are now cash cows.
(Silence.)
Crowd: Cash cows…
Chairman wa Groups: Yes. And not zebu but Holstein Friesians. But my people do not know how to milk.
(The villagers exchange excited looks.)
Mzee Kihoto: And there it was. A new economic policy for the village. Not farming. Not business. Not employment. But a campaign season that would give birth to regrets.
Chairman wa Groups: Rule number one; Never attend political meetings alone. Come with grandparents. Come with grandchildren. Come with neighbors. Come with church leaders.
Crowd: Never alone!
Chairman wa Groups: Move in groups of fifty, hundred, thousand, ten thousand…. Aspirants fear empty chairs more than opposition.
Nyina wa Wanja: Even churches nowadays have more people when aspirants are coming.
Chairman wa Groups: Exactly. A politician must feel important.
Kamau: And what do we ask for?
Chairman wa Groups: Transport.
Crowd: Transport!
Chairman wa Groups: Lunch.
Crowd: Lunch!
Chairman wa Groups: Facilitation.
Crowd: Facilitation!
Pastor Wakweri: But people know that is voter bribery.
Chairman wa Groups: No, Pastor. Bribery is illegal. This is appreciation for participation.
(Huge laughter. Suddenly campaign music approaches. Dust rises. Convoys arrive. SUVs. Motorcycles. Whistles. Excitement erupts immediately.)
MCA Aspirant: Where are the youth?
Chairman wa Groups: Mobilized.
MCA Aspirant: Where are the women?
Chairman wa Groups: Prepared.
MCA Aspirant: And the elders?
Chairman wa Groups: Very expensive nowadays…but ready with traditional regalia.
(Laughter. Villagers suddenly burst into loud singing.)
Crowd: Our leader! Our leader!
Mzee Kihoto: Observe carefully. The louder the singing the fatter the handout…. but the emptier the loyalty.
(Chairman wa Groups quietly pulls Aspirant aside.)
Chairman wa Groups: My people came from very far.
MCA Aspirant: I already hired tents.
Chairman wa Groups: Crowds do not eat tents.
MCA Aspirant: I printed T-shirts.
Chairman wa Groups: Can T-shirts move hearts?
MCA Aspirant: What do they want?
Chairman wa Groups: You are asking the wrong question.
MCA Aspirant: Then what is the right question?
Chairman wa Groups: How badly do you want the seat?
(Pause. The Aspirant quietly removes a thick envelope. Chairman wa Groups smiles slowly.)
Mzee Kihoto: And democracy continued its sacred journey.
(Another convoy arrives before the first leaves.)
MP Aspirant: Why are these people wearing another candidate’s T-shirts?
Chairman wa Groups: Development has many stakeholders. First come first served.
(Laughter.)
MP Aspirant: Were they not at my rally yesterday?
Nyina wa Wanja: Leadership requires consistency. That is why we attend all meetings.
Kamau: We believe in inclusivity.
(Huge laughter.)
Governor’s Agent: We need five hundred people tomorrow.
Chairman wa Groups: With or without dancing and ngemi?
Governor’s Agent: With energy. Ready to talk with paid media people.
Chairman wa Groups: Energy costs extra.
(Laughter. Night falls slowly. Villagers seated counting money. Campaign T-shirts scattered everywhere. Empty cheap liquor bottles. Political songs fading in distance.)
Kamau: Today I attended three rallies.
Nyina wa Wanja: I attended four.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: Last election we were manipulated for free. This time round we must get our share of politics funds.
(Laughter.)
Pastor Wakweri: But honestly…is this not wrong?
(Silence.)
Chairman wa Groups: Pastor…when elections end…will these politicians remember us?
Pastor Wakweri: Probably not.
Chairman wa Groups: Then this is our season. The cows are full of milk and ready for us.
Crowd: The cows are ready!
Chairman wa Groups: The milk is ready.
Crowd: The milk is ready!
Chairman wa Groups: Your time is now. Milk!
(Lights shift abruptly. Silence. Morning after elections. Empty roads. Torn posters. No music. No convoys. Only potholes remain faithfully.)
Kamau: My phone no longer rings.
Nyina wa Wanja: Even the MCA stopped greeting people.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: The milk dried.
Pastor Wakweri: And now?
(Long silence.)
Chairman wa Groups: Now we wait for five years again.
Crowd: Five years?
Chairman wa Groups: Yes. Unless either helicopter crash or cancer bless us.
(The villagers stand quietly.)
Mzee Kihoto: The politicians came looking for crowds. The crowds came looking for survival. Both used each other. And both called it politics.
Crowd: We sang. We danced. We filled rallies. We hated each other. We milked the cows.
(Pause.)
Crowd: (softly) But somehow…we remained poor.
Old Man Wa Kambaa: One day we shall stop renting ourselves to politicians.
Kamau: …and start demanding something more expensive than money.
Nyina wa Wanja: Responsibility.
Pastor Wakweri: True.
Chairman wa Groups: And dignity.
(Far away, campaign music begins again. Some villagers slowly turn their heads instinctively.)
Mzee Kihoto: And once again…the circus remembered the road to Lari.
(Blackout.)
